World of Music

http://blog.ted.com/2008/04/15/machover_ellsey/

I was watching this video and thinking about how cool/different the world would be if every educated person learned how to make music, the same way we learn to read, solve basic math, and speak a language. What if we could all make music as easily and naturally as we talk? How much more would we be able to find out about one another's personalities?
When you reach a certain level of music-making, you reach a level of ability to express. The more skilled you are at your art, the more capable you are to show yourself and say what you mean, to have that unique sound that characterizes you (and vice versa). That's why musicians at the beginning level (a horde of little kids playing Suzuki, middle school orchestra students etc.) generally all sound quite similar to an unbiased ear, while musicians at the highest level (Kreisler, Wunderlich, DuPre) are much more distinguishable. But, you don't have to be Heifetz or Casals to reveal a little bit of yourself through music-making. It's reasonable that the more you master your technique and gain control over your body/instrument, the more you're able to make creative decisions through the music, but if you have a strong enough personality, it should and will shine through, whether you've been playing an instrument for three days or three decades.
All this seems like a given--we know it already. But I never saw a better example of this fact (that music unmasks aspects of a particular human's psyche that cannot be expressed through any other means) than in the above video. The man at the end suffers from brain damage, and it is clear that his capability to express himself is extremely limited. However, through the music he made, the audience (and I) could begin to discern really intimate details about him. The happy bursts of energy, the fluctuation in texture and dynamic, the pitches and rhythms...I can't describe in words exactly what I know about him now, but I can certainly say that I am closer to him after hearing his music.
Of course it also works the same way, in reverse--the more trained of an ear you have, the more you will be able to discern someone's inner workings through their music.
So my daydream is, what would happen if everyone in the world could effectively/constantly express themselves through music? If we all went about our everyday lives singing or playing the flute or strumming a guitar or something, as frequently as we communicate through speech and actions? How much more would we know about one another? Wouldn't it make it that much easier to find your friends, soul mates, and those with whom you would NOT get along? Imagine walking into a classroom full of strangers on your first day at a new school. Everywhere are unfamiliar faces, and you want to figure out who's who. In our current world, we observe people's facial expressions, the way they present themselves, their clothes/accessories, how they interact with others. But in this fictional music world of mine, everyone would be making some sort of music whenever they had something to say. So instead of observing their appearances, you would listen to their songs. One kid is making the smoothest, silkiest sound on his clarinet--he knows how to charm the ladies. A girl in front row is playing her viola louder than everyone else--she has a big ego, let's avoid her. The small skinny boy at the back taps a pair of hand drums with his eyes closed, devising creative rhythms--he's intelligent but laid back. Guy in the corner playing Dvorak cello concerto second theme with the longest lines and seamless vibrato--instant crush.
Because it's easier (not easy, but easier) to fake who you are through the clothes you wear, the mannerisms you adopt, the timbre of your voice, the way you do your hair. But it's difficult, if not nearly impossible, to fake who you are through music. Music is, in some ways, the clearest, most shamelessly honest mirror one can hold up to his self.

Listening

Thanks to various circumstances in the course of my life, I have mastered the ability to block out all noises around me in the physical world and get completely and irrevocably lost in my own head. Once, in my sophomore history class, I actually fell asleep and had an engaging dream about the first movement of Dvorak's American quartet (second theme)...and I "woke up" to find that my eyes were open the whole time. After this discovery, I spent many an hour in Econ class perfecting my newfound skill...it takes time and practice, but if I so wish, I now can close my mind to my surroundings and transport myself to Jenniferland. I used to think this was really fun and useful--and it is, because let's say you're in a mind-numbingly useless lecture...well, if you can block it out, you can then proceed to think about and deal with more pressing/interesting issues in your head. But, it's getting to the point where "Brain to Jenniferland" is my default mode when I enter class. Without realizing it, I'll sit down, get out my books/pen etc. and BAM 45 minutes later I jerk to my senses, discussion topics (none of which I can recall or understand) whizzing around my ears, impossible for me to grasp.
Come to think of it, this may be a reason memorization is usually my biggest worry in music. I get lost in a distracting whirl of thoughts, music-related or not, and muscle memory can only take me so far.
On the one hand, it's my own restless brain--too lazy to concentrate on things that don't interest me--causing me to gradually shorten my attention span. BUT on the other hand, while cleaning out my room on the last day of break, I re-unearthed an evaluation report from Challenger preschool days. Going through my preschool binder always makes me laugh really hard. There are the hilarious self-portraits (all of which display me in purple clothes) and even more hilarious short stories (most of which feature as protagonist a bunny, creatively named Bunny). And then the evaluations, which are quite revealing. For all the math and verbal stuff, like Arithmetic, Sentence Construction, Reading Skills etc. there are a string of 99th percentiles, and at first I was quite proud, like "Hey, not bad, little Jennifer was actually a pretty smart kid!" But then I keep looking down, and there, next to Listening, is a very sad-looking 53. (Social Interaction was not much higher.)
So...maybe I was this way all along.

Skype

My sister has been sleeping over for the past couple days, while my mom stays in a hotel a few blocks away (they both came to visit me in Boston!). Every night, my sister hogs the internet to Skype with her various guy friends (cute for the first 5 minutes, but now it's just annoying), and sometimes my mom pops on Skype from her hotel room to bother us.

[12/16/2010 11:14:24 PM] Sefen.Hsu: HELLO!!
[12/16/2010 11:14:42 PM] Sefen.Hsu: DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH??
[12/16/2010 11:14:46 PM] Julianne Wey: .....uh hi mom
[12/16/2010 11:14:49 PM] Julianne Wey: YEAH.
[12/16/2010 11:14:59 PM] Julianne Wey: DID YOU??
[12/16/2010 11:15:20 PM] Sefen.Hsu: NOT YET, EATING BLUEBERRIES
[12/16/2010 11:15:31 PM] Sefen.Hsu: CHECKING EMAILS
[12/16/2010 11:15:40 PM] Sefen.Hsu: DID YOU CHECK YOU EMAIL
[12/16/2010 11:15:44 PM] Julianne Wey: uh no?
[12/16/2010 11:15:45 PM] Julianne Wey: LOL
[12/16/2010 11:16:24 PM] Sefen.Hsu: ok
[12/16/2010 11:16:29 PM] Sefen.Hsu: do stay up
[12/16/2010 11:16:33 PM] Julianne Wey: do stay up?
[12/16/2010 11:16:41 PM] Sefen.Hsu: don't
[12/16/2010 11:16:45 PM] Julianne Wey: right ok!
[12/16/2010 11:16:47 PM] Julianne Wey: hahaha
[12/16/2010 11:17:17 PM] Sefen.Hsu: i am tired, going shower and sleep
[12/16/2010 11:17:27 PM] Sefen.Hsu: you make your bed
[12/16/2010 11:17:42 PM] Sefen.Hsu: and DON'T STAY UP TOO LATE!!!
[12/16/2010 11:18:25 PM] Sefen.Hsu: bye :)





Parents and online chatting = one of my favorite combinations

So much has been happening in the past week, and the craze is still in full swing, so more later...just had to post that, because it's too hilarious.

If You're a (Good) Pianist

Top 3 pieces for solo piano that will win a girl (or at least this particular girl)'s heart:

1) Liszt Un Sospiro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLHU2ES51uw

2) Schubert Op. 90 No. 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkX4MyDeIqI

And of course,

3) Brahms Intermezzo Op. 118 No. 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iF4Rn2b4T8

Close Runner-up:

Chopin Nocturne Op. 9 No. 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sS9aPNp07g

Thanksgiving in Pictures

First store we visit. :)

At what's got to be the largest Toys 'R Us in the world...yes, they have a ferris wheel. There was an hour-long wait to ride it.

Thanksgiving dinner, courtesy of Trader Joe's and H's cooking skills! Not pictured: pumpkin pie and beautiful omelets that were devoured so quickly by some very intensely ravenous people that I was unable to get my camera in time.

Opening wine by grinding the cork into bits with a spoon--revolutionary!

Sisters. :)

Black Friday shopping at the world's largest Macy's. Most crowded store I've ever been in, but Victoria's Secret was a close second. What were all the men doing in there? As S proclaimed loudly, "All these husbands and boyfriends just need to go away so we can shop."

Mary Poppins on Broadway. Very cheesy, and the movie is way better, but it was fun.

Cosi Fan Tutte by Mozart, at the Met. Seriously, only opera and opera alone can manage to be so ridiculously funny and incredibly beautiful all at once.

An Ode to Second Homes

The floor of the bathroom at Sara's place is, for some reason, about 1 1/2 inches higher than the rest of the apartment. Once upon a time, I used to trip and stub my toe on that stupid elevation every time, but this past week staying at her house, it didn't bother me at all. I didn't even notice it until someone who came over pointed it out, and I thought, "Wow, I've really grown into this place." It's like the moment you start thinking in a new language you've been trying to learn, or the moment you're able to drive to a previously unfamiliar location without thinking. There's the little click of a light bulb in your head that tells you, "Hey, you know this!"
We were calculating, and I believe it's seven times that I've stayed at Sara's place...around twice a year since we met in 2006. A little less when we were in high school, and a little more when we entered college. I love everything about her apartment, from the Charmin' toilet paper and Puffs tissues that always feel so good, to the fluffy purple blankets and row of stuffed animals on the bed, to the box of Maple Syrup Quaker's oatmeal Sara always has waiting in the pantry for me to eat. There's the blue sofa with the footrest that I always sit on, and the leather brown swivel chair that Sara always sits on when we watch TV. There's the closet where I hang my coat, the teddy bear I hug when we sleep, and the bluish-purple bath towel I use after showers. I've learned to close the toilet seat cover after using the bathroom, I know which exact drawer the nail clipper I constantly have to borrow is in, and I've finally figured out the complicated 3-lock routine on the door.
To be honest, I feel more comfortable at Sara's apartment than at my own in Boston. Maybe it's because of the hardwood floors (which I really appreciate and prefer over carpet), the big queen-sized bed (I LOVE big beds), or the TV and microwave (which I tell myself I don't need, but...I really do miss them). Maybe it's because I've known her place longer, and because it's in the PERFECT location--a newly-opened Trader Joe's, Ann Taylor Loft, Gray's Papaya, subway station, and Westside Diner all within a block away, and the Met/Carnegie Hall just five minutes away. Or maybe it's because of that dumb centipede that keeps popping up and scaring the living daylights out of me in Boston.
But I know that mostly, it's because of Sara. Like the fact that we can either stay up past 3am talking our heads off and laughing hysterically, or go straight to bed at 11pm and pass out without saying more than, "Shall we sleep?" "Yes. Good night!" When we're eating, we can stare at the TV and not talk at all, or we can discuss something really important/meaningful, and either way is fine. We'll take turns doing the dishes, cleaning up when there are guests, and she can always tell when I'm hungry and want to eat something in particular...she prepares food for me and listens to me practice, and despite her adamant insistences that she does not want kids or a husband, I just know she'd make a great mom.
I love my California home most of all, but as for second homes, I am so lucky as to have one of the best. :)

*** When we were getting in bed-
Sara: (looking for her stuffed animals) Where is everybody?

While I was practicing in the bedroom, which is adjacent to the bathroom-
Sara: Sorry, I have to poop.
Me: Oh okay, do you want me to move to the other room?
Sara: No, you can stay here. Geez Jennifer, it's not going to be that intense.

HAHAHA You see how awesome she is??

Two Vows

After taking a 5-hour bus ride to New York and a 5 1/2-hour bus ride back to Boston this past week, I firmly vow the following 2 things for the rest of my life:

1) If I ever have to take a young child on public transportation lasting more than 30 minutes, I will spend at least a week in advance training him/her to be quiet instantly upon my command. This is not just for my own sanity, but for the sanity of THOSE AROUND ME.

2) No matter what the circumstance, I will never ever participate in full-frontal PDA in crowded areas, especially airport terminals or train stations. I mean, congratulations on your successful relationship and great enthusiasm/passion, but come on...kissing for multiple seconds? With tongue? While everyone around you is trying to navigate around you and get home? In the words of the little boy sitting in front of me at the Mary Poppins Broadway show when Mr. and Mrs. Banks are about to kiss: Ew.

Anyway, time for some sweet potato soup, and then off to catch up on practicing. More later.

Friends

When A was visiting a few weeks ago, she looked through my Japan pictures from the past summer and told me, "You look so happy." Thinking back, I was a lot happier during the summer than I am now. I can barely remember what it feels like to be so carefree and live with almost no worries. Of course there were little concerns, like "I hope our concert goes well," or "We have to wake up by 7am tomorrow," but they didn't bother me much. And anxieties about the coming school year were WAY in the back of my mind. I miss that freedom...

Another thing I've been thinking about is, something happens when you have a select group of people that have been your closest friends for a long time. Especially if you're an introvert and have a very small number of people with whom you can legitimately open up...you start assigning roles to them. At least, I do. I go to Person A when I want to talk about what I did every day, like what I ate, where I went, something funny that happened in class, whatever. I go to Person B when I'm stressed about music, I go to Person C when I feel philosophical/intelligent (a rarity), Person D for family problems, Person E for relationship advice...etc. It became this way because when I have a conundrum, I need someone who a) is truly interested, b) won't judge me, and c) understands how I feel. A few weeks ago, I had a rough night and wanted/needed to talk it out. For the first time in my life, there was not one friend in whom I could confide. It's not that there was nobody trustworthy...that definitely wasn't the problem. It was that there was nobody who satisfied all three categories (interested, unbiased, and understanding). So I ended up calling two teachers, and then my parents, who are always always there for me.

I am SO lucky in that I can confidently name five people in this world who are not related to me but who will ALWAYS be willing to sit down, listen to whatever I have to say, and care about it. This is a huge blessing already. But sometimes, an attentive ear isn't enough...

Anyway, it's as if each person has their "assignment," and the question is, what happens when there is nothing to talk about within someone's realm of conversation? It's not like we COULDN'T talk about regular old things--these are first-tier friends I'm referring to. But the facts are: they are not in Boston, we're busy people, and our lives are sort of irrelevant...it's simply not practical to call someone just to tell them what I ate for lunch that day or something. On the one hand, it's wonderful to have people (who are not family) you can go to for specific problems/happenings. But when it comes down to plain old companionship, you can't reach out to your old friends who live thousands of miles away. You need people who are right here with you...and the thing about being an introvert is, it's rare/difficult enough to find people with whom you feel comfortable, whether or not their lives are in close conjunction with yours.

I feel like there are two general types of friends--indispensable and convenience friends. Indispensable friends are the ones you need...you see something in a store and just have to buy it for them, you go through a hard time and just have to hear their voice telling you it's okay. Convenience friends are always around, people you can go places with and have a good time. You might miss them as a group, but  less often will you miss them as individuals. Both types of friends are great, but I know which I gravitate toward.

What's scary is when you start falling out of touch with indispensable friends. I've been feeling that lately, because my daily life is centered so exclusively around music these days. As D said, what do you talk about when the only meaningful thing you did all day was practice? Are people going to be interested in discussing that? Uh, no. As a result, it's been an abnormally long time since I've talked to certain people, non-musicians in particular. Our lives move in different directions...and this is the point at which seemingly indestructible friendships may start to fade.

Fortunately, there are some people where it doesn't matter how long it's been, how much you differ, how far apart you live...when you come back to each other, it's just like old times. Some things never change. Which brings me to one of my favorite beliefs--that love is irrelevant to time spent together. It doesn't matter how often you talk or see each other, how much you relate--the love increases regardless.

I guess the point I've reached after this whole drawn-out ramble is, no matter how you view and deal with your friendships, recognize the ones that are indispensable, give them what they deserve, and trust in them...if they're real, they will last.

CENTIPEDE

NOOOOO...ANOTHER CENTIPEDE SIGHTING.
I was pounding a bag of frozen spinach on the counter to split it into smaller chunks when a big brown centipede scurried hurriedly across the stove behind the refrigerator. I think it's still there...I'm borrowing bug spray from a friend tomorrow morning, but ugh, it's going to be a long night. At least, unlike the first centipede sighting, I managed not to burst into tears. Sigh. :( It's times like these where I really miss my crazy mom, who would have no problem squishing the bug with her bare hand.


[11/18/2010 11:27:26 PM] Sefen.Hsu: don't think about it, just keep some good thought when you go to sleep, it will be fine
[11/18/2010 11:29:11 PM] jenniferwey: :( :( ok
[11/18/2010 11:30:06 PM] Sefen.Hsu: remember the song, 'my favorite things' in sound of music...  you can try that too

[11/18/2010 11:32:48 PM] jenniferwey: it moved so fast

[11/18/2010 11:33:08 PM] Sefen.Hsu: I think it is scared of you too
[11/18/2010 11:33:27 PM] jenniferwey: :( sigh
[11/18/2010 11:33:52 PM] Sefen.Hsu: it might run away
[11/18/2010 11:34:07 PM] Sefen.Hsu: out of your room!!

Please please...let it run away..........

It's times like these...

...that I appreciate Facebook.

In middle school, there was this guy with whom I was good friends. We had a lot of classes together, and we basically spent a lot of time in each other's company, running around, devising pranks to play on our teachers, and keeping each other entertained during the long boring hours of class. I think at one point, we even walked home from school together. Then in ninth grade, he moved away, and I didn't talk to him since then. I don't know why...we probably started hanging around different people, and then he left and we lost touch. In essence, he completely disappeared from my life, and I didn't give much thought to him after that.
At one point, we became Facebook friends, although I'm not sure how that happened, because he doesn't friend people, and neither do I...but anyway, a couple days ago, I got a message from him. I remember seeing the notification email and thinking, "What the heck? Maybe it's a forward or chain message or something." I clicked on it, and it basically said that he and his roommates decided this week to reconnect with their middle school crushes, and I was his only one. So, if I wanted to Skype and catch up on the last seven years or so, that would be really great.
First, I laughed for about five minutes straight, because it was so random and amusing and, I don't know, completely unexpected. But then we got in touch via Skype, started talking, and tonight, we ended up having a four-hour video chat. As he said, we've barely even scratched the surface, and there is still so much to say.
It's surreal. On the one hand, it was as if I was meeting him for the first time. I didn't even know what school he went to, what major he was, what kind of person he's become. His hair looks different, his clothes are different, and he's definitely grown up. But on the other hand, this is the guy I sat next to in eighth grade English every day...his mannerisms, his personality, and his sense of humor are like second nature to me. Within minutes, I was blabbing on and on, talking endlessly with him like I would with a first-tier friend...it was as if our seven years of silence had not existed. I was surprised at how natural/comfortable it was to suddenly share so much of my life with him. What's more, it seems that we matured and changed in quite similar ways over these years--not by affecting each other, but by simply learning the same lessons. The image I envision is two travelers walking down parallel roads...they don't meet, but they're going in the same direction. Discussing books, movies, music, drugs, school, family, friendship, relationships, marriage, individuality...we held the same principles for so many of these topics, on so many levels.
When we were fourteen, we'd sit and talk about the school dance, the Jogathon, the To Kill A Mockingbird assignment, how to make stars with rubber bands...and now that we're in our twenties (crazy), we talk about what jobs we want, past relationships, what we think about The Fountainhead, what makes quality music, what we like/dislike about ourselves... It is reassuring that while the topics change, the comfort and openness and ease doesn't. It is reassuring that a middle school friendship is significant enough to reappear seven years later. Most of all, it is reassuring that there are still people who see the value of making an effort to keep in touch. We're all busy these days; it is so easy to find an excuse to NOT take the initiative, call someone up, and find out how they're doing...not out of obligation or convenience, but because you really care. We all go around saying, "Aw I miss so-and-so" or "I miss the old days"...but not many people act on it. Even fewer people voluntarily dig out an old candle of a friendship, dust it off, and relight it.

:)