Arts and Crafts 2

:)

Mom

Here are a collection of my favorite Mom-memories taken from various journals, Skype logs, and photo albums, in belated honor of Mother's Day and my lovely mom's birthday. :)

Mom is so hyper these days. You know, most women get crankier as they age, but I think Mom just keeps getting happier. This morning over breakfast, we were eating pancakes and Mei finished hers first, so Mom was like, "Here, you can have my last pancake! I'm not that hungry." Then she balanced the pancake on her fork, tossed it in the air so that it landed on Mei's plate, and went "Yoohoo!" really loudly. The rest of us stared at her for a moment, and then Mei went, "Um, why did you say yoohoo?" And Mom answered, "Isn't that what Tarzan says when he jumps from tree to tree?" 
So...in Mom's crazy mind...a pancake being transferred from one plate to another reminds her of a half-naked man swinging from tree to tree? I don't think Tarzan even says "yoohoo," he just yells "Aaawooooaaoo," at least in the Disney movie.


The waiters at Chevy's were really slow bringing our extra salsa, and Mom was getting really impatient, so after she asked a third waiter and got no favorable results, she lost her temper and accosted the next guy in a red polo shirt who walked by. "Excuse me! We have been waiting for extra salsa for over 15 minutes! I've asked three waiters already!" The guy looked a bit terrified and went, "Well...I don't work here...but I can go ask for more salsa if you want." Mom was so embarrassed--ha!!!


Oh, I forgot to mention that yesterday morning, J told me that she'd woken up a little earlier and heard a bunch of maids talking and bustling around in the kitchen. I was all confused, because we don't have any maids obviously, but she kept insisting, "No no, I swear there were like 3 or 4 women in there, and they were talking so much!" Then, I realized that it had actually been Mom in the kitchen, making breakfast and talking to herself.

I think it's kind of amusing how you can tell Mom's back from Taiwan by these subtle but noticeable differences in the kitchen. For example, the faucet setting is now always on full blast instead of the flimsy shower-head setting. There are tons of all kinds of dishes piled precariously on the drying rack, instead of a few sparse plates evenly spaced out. You can periodically hear the sound of the blender being turned on and off, occasional thuds and bangs of things falling to the floor, and at least 5 or 6 miscellaneous fluid containers spread over the counter. Whereas when it's just Dad at home, the kitchen is pretty much silent and empty all of the time.

Dinner was so funny today. Mei and I were asking each other "would you rather" questions again, and Mom kept butting in as usual and answering all the questions herself, even though she wasn't even part of the game. I asked Mei whether she would rather use a spoon or chopsticks for the rest of her life, and she chose a spoon, and of course Mom was like "Chopsticks!" I asked her how in the world she'd eat cereal with chopsticks, and it was hilarious because I can just imagine her trying to eat cereal with her portable chopsticks. Then Dad was all, "Would you rather wash the dishes or dry them tonight?" so we all left really quickly.

[10:40:46 PM] Sefen.Hsu: woo, i am excited

[8:45:36 PM] Sefen.Hsu: hi! are you home?  I like your holiday spirit!! it's cute!

[11:16:44 PM] jenniferwey: what does dad want for his birthday?

[11:17:23 PM] Sefen.Hsu: he wants a car, but we are not going to care abouit that

[11:17:35 PM] jenniferwey: WOW a car??

[11:17:41 PM] jenniferwey: what kind??

[11:18:08 PM] Sefen.Hsu: I don't quite sure, something like porche

[11:18:27 PM] jenniferwey: oh dear...mid life crisis? is he serious?

[11:18:37 PM] Sefen.Hsu: no

[11:18:46 PM] Sefen.Hsu: I think he's joking

[11:18:53 PM] Sefen.Hsu: no one listen, anyway

 

And of course, my favorite video ever taken in the history of time: (you might want to turn down the volume)

She wasn't even...tipsy or anything. This is just her normal self.........

I mean, these are mostly silly memories, but laughs aside, my mom is really one of the best people I know. She is healthy and active, going on hikes every morning, doing yoga every night, and running up and down the stairs of our house all the time. She is so pretty--I don't think I've ever seen a prettier wedding photo than hers with my dad, and she is only improving with age! (Especially since afro-hairstyles and bottle cap glasses are out of style now, thank goodness.) She is intelligent, one of the only Asian moms I know who reads English literature...The Fountainhead, Pillars of the Earth, Kurt Vonnegut, Animal Farm, Harry Potter...basically whatever I recommend. And she is generous...a natural mother.

Through/within her weird jokes and hilarious habits and cuteness, her beautiful self is always shining through. Happy birthday, Mom! :)

Little Blessings

**Managed to collect some photos, because Miami is just too beautiful to be depicted in words alone. The blurry ones are from my phone, and the amazing ones are from a friend who is an amazing photographer.

-Ideal practice rooms...clean, spacious, soundproof, and with large windows displaying sunny skies and palm trees.

-Studying for finals on the beach, digging my toes into the sand and hearing the crash of waves on the shore, while a man nearby flies a kite.

-Catching up with a special old friend...stand partner from seventh grade, carpool buddy for a good 3 years, high school classmate, and fellow Bostonian/music-lover.

-Sitting last stand in a really good orchestra, riding the wave of everyone's momentum and carrying the sound from behind. Also, playing in a really well-designed concert hall.

-Practicing Stravinsky, having just come from the beach with sand still clinging to my legs, and the smell of sea in my hair.

Oh, and also I've been meaning to brag about this for a while--my first complete New York Times crossword, no thesaurus or outside help. :) Finally!

After Something Big

No matter the outcome, there are liberties one can always enjoy in the aftermath of some big event. Here are some of my favorite simple but surprisingly significant post-audition liberties.

1) Sleeping in for an extra hour. I tell you, waking up at 8am EVERY day for the past month gives 9am a whole new glorious meaning.

2) Listening to music other than the same 7 symphonies over and over obsessively on my iPod

3) Allowing myself an hour to make and eat meals, instead of 20 minutes to pour cereal into a bowl and wolf it down before returning to the practice room
4) Tuning to an A other than 441. It seems like such a small distinction, but at the risk of sounding super nerdy, I will say that it really feels good to indulge in a 442-A once in a while

5) Taking a bathroom or email break during practice time without feeling guilty

6) Venturing out into the sunlight and talking with actual people. Practicing--especially excerpts--is a lonely affair and can turn you into a socially awkward person.

What's ironic is that we work super hard to make a decent recording, so that we can work even harder to take the live audition, so that we can work EVEN harder if/when we get a job. When I was a kid, I viewed hard work as an accomplishment that deserved to be rewarded with fun and free time. Now, hard work is a privilege that, if I'm lucky, leads to more hard work...only if I'm unsuccessful will it lead to more free time.

There are 2 ways to view this paradoxical cycle-

Glass-half-empty: an endless chain of hard work, and the only breaks you get are the consequences of failure

Glass-half-full: endless opportunities to improve and become the best person possible, and when you don't do as well as you'd like, you get a moment of reprieve to breathe and rejuvenate

Yeah, I choose the latter. I'm definitely happy now, but I was also happy in the past 2 months, amid the early morning searches for practice rooms, Schubert 2 on repeat, and Corn Flakes dinners...because I was pushing myself to be the best possible...and the next time I am fortunate enough to have an opportunity to work just as hard (if not harder), I will be happy again.

Life is good, if you look through the right lenses.

High Expectations Asian Father

Every time I see this picture, I just laugh even harder.

Elitists

I think it's fine to be elitist about certain subjects if you really are that intelligent and know what you're talking about--when you're around other "legitimate elitists." But I don't think you should be elitist around people who don't know as much about that particular topic, and I especially don't think teachers should be elitist around their students. Obviously a) it makes the less-knowledgeable feel bad, but in addition b) it makes them strive to be elitist too.
I have a teacher (unnamed) who is very intelligent and well-informed in many subjects. He's someone I'd choose as one of my three lifelines on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." He certainly has a right to be elitist on a plethora of matters, because he knows so much, and I imagine it's frustrating for him to be around people of lesser intellect. However, he's a teacher...and purposefully or not, he definitely affects his (perhaps more pretentious) students to adopt a similar elitist attitude. Yesterday, he was talking about poetry, and how there is a lot of Bad Poetry these days...mostly about "love, being lonely, and cute puppies." Okay, I suppose that's true, but for those of us in the class who aren't avid readers of poetry (aka. most of us), it's not fair to thrust this condescending mindset onto us. We laugh good-humoredly when he makes statements like this, because he's funny...but the next time we see a book of love poems at a store, we'll automatically remember his semi-snobby remark, and be too embarrassed or proud to think of giving it a chance.
Maybe that's a decision we would have made anyway, with or without the teacher's influence. But the fact is that being subjected to elitist thinking makes us more narrow-minded, and for students who are still learning and developing their own opinions, I don't think it's a good idea.
So I am trying very hard not to ever be a snob about any subject on which I am not a full expert (in other words, nothing).
Except the Twilight series. I really can't help but be condescending toward that.

Friends 2

There's friendship, and then there's intimacy. Until now, I never made a distinction between the two, but now I realize it is possible for one to exist without the other. To me, friendships are never stagnant...they are either growing or diminishing, and while growth should feel natural and genuinely easy, it also takes action. As time passes, friendships come and go. It's a cycle, and while a change can be initially upsetting or disappointing, you should trust that ultimately, it will be justified.
That being said, intimacy is maybe a whole other issue. Friendships fluctuate, but true intimacy does not easily disintegrate. Unlike friendship, intimacy can be stagnant, but I don't mean "stagnant" as in immobile, but rather, immovable--rooted and steadfast.
As I grow older, I notice various people edging slowly out of my life. Friend A, with whom I used to talk every day is now someone I see once or twice a year. Friend B comes along and fills the shoes of he who left. Whether the leaving is intentional or not is beyond the point. We all have excuses--busy lives, diverging paths. What's important is to acknowledge the consequence of these excuses. There comes a point when an inactive friendship morphs into a nonexistent one. Friend A, I used to come to you for every problem, big and small, significant and childish. Then when our communication lessened, I narrowed my dependence on you to more specific needs--I came to you with issues that "only you" would understand. And now? I feel like you hang in my life by a thread...Issues that once would have led me directly to you--they don't, anymore. They take a step in your direction, then hesitate and lead me to Friend B instead...because Friend B is usually there, and you are usually not.
But what I notice is that our intimacy is still here. In fact, it's as strong as a rock. I don't tell you things, but I could. I don't share with you every boring detail of my day, from when I wake up (it took me 5 tries to put in my contacts this morning) until I go to bed (re-watched my favorite episode of Big Bang Theory), but I could. I don't call you when I feel like crying or giving up, but I could, and believe me, I want to. Our friendship has changed...and you realize it, too. The rare times I do hear from you, you say, "This incident made me think of you...I want to tell you about it." But then, you don't. Consequently, I don't know about your life...at all. But I could. Would we be very much altered if I did? You don't know my life, but you still know ME better than most people
I can't stay quality friends with someone without a mutual active effort to keep the relationship alive. Eventually, it stops working, no matter how fond two people are of each other. But intimacy lives on.

Friendship and intimacy are not inseparable. It's just such a shame when one exists without the other.

Ministry of Fear

Favorite Quotes:

It was a long time before they told him about the war, and that involved an enormous amount of historical explanation. What seemed odd to him, he found, was not what seemed odd to other people...the fact that we were at war with Italy shook him like an inexplicable catastrophe of nature. "Italy," he exclaimed. Why, Italy was where two of his maiden aunts went every year to paint. He remembered too the Primitives in the National Gallery and Caporetto and Garibaldi, who had given a name to a biscuit, and Thomas Cook's. Then Johns patiently explained about Mussolini.
Ha ha ha.

When he thought of her it was with an absurd breathlessness. It was as if he were waiting again years ago outside...and the girl he loved was coming down the street, and the night was full of pain and beauty and despair because one knew one was too young for anything to come of this...


"Is life really like this?" Rowe asked. Mr. Prentice leant forward with an interested air, as though he were always ready to abandon the particular in favour of the general argument. He said, "This is life, so I suppose one can say it's like life."


Her face looked ugly in the attempt to avoid tears; it was an ugliness which bound him to her more than any beauty could have done; it isn't being happy together, he thought as though it were a fresh discovery, that makes one love--it's being unhappy together.


She looked at him with a kind of middle-aged tenderness, as though they'd grown through love into its later stage.

Turning Point

Today, on the way home from Barnes and Noble, my mom was telling me how she is considering moving out of our house and Saratoga after Mei graduates. This isn't unexpected news for me, and it makes sense--it's not practical to occupy such a large space with only two people. Saratoga is, after all, the most expensive suburb in America (according to Yahoo News a couple months ago). But my parents' main concern turns out to be the stairs. They think a three-story house will be inconvenient and possibly dangerous for them, in the future. Then, it hit me that my parents are in their fifties, and while they exercise every day and maintain a healthy diet, the aging process of one's body is inevitable and can only be countered to a certain degree. When I come home during breaks, I view it as a reprieve from the exhausting whirlwind of school and independence, a chance to have someone else cook the food, clean the floors, take out the trash, and kill the bugs, for a change. But contrary to my parents taking care of me, has the time come for me to start taking care of them?
At the doctor's office, I was filling out some health forms, and my dad mentioned that he sort of has high blood pressure, so I read a brochure about that and wondered, "Should I start monitoring his exercise and diet?" It's such an alien concept...maybe because Mei is a lot younger than me, so I still see my parents monitoring her all the time, being Parents with a capital P, or the "tiger mom" as my mom calls herself now. But if I eliminate this factor and simply observe my parents in relation to me, I realize that the turning point is nearer than I thought.
It makes me sad, to be honest.
I know this is a natural part of life, but...it came too soon. It never really occurred to me to take care of my parents. Yes, when one of them was going through a stressful period, I'd be there for them of course. I'd take Mom out for a walk, or listen to Dad vent for literally hours, and just...be the best support possible. But those were always temporary reversal of roles, and pretty soon, we'd be back to, "Jennifer, did you brush your teeth today?" and "Don't slouch!" I can barely fathom the change as something permanent--checking up on them, instead of them checking up on me...nagging at them to eat well and exercise instead of vice versa. I remember talking to A about her parents last year. They are much older than the average college student's parents, so she is already thinking about their health care, insurance, getting a job near their house, visiting them and so on. At the time, I admired her responsibility and kindness, but it seemed very removed from my personal life...something far in the distance. I didn't imagine myself in her position anytime soon. I still don't think I'm in that position yet...I mean, today after dinner when I suggested going to Barnes and Noble, we were standing around in the kitchen with a huge pile of dishes in the sink, my dad says, "Fine, I'll do the dishes, you two can go now before it closes," and my mom goes, "YAY!" and dashes off to get her keys. I'm very used to seeing them this way--as the healthy, often child-like, cute little Asian parents...but the time IS nearer than I think. There's nothing morbid or depressing about it, I have to reassure myself--just a reminder to pull my own weight, especially when I'm actually at home.

Arts and Crafts

***Some more:

Taking a quick minute before V arrives to post some recent arts and crafts:

Activities of the home life:
1) getting my 8 hours of sleep, not from 2-10am like you'd expect, but from 11pm-7am. That's right, I'm waking up at SEVEN O'CLOCK.
2) growing my California tummy (what I call my stomach when I'm at home and in a perpetual state of great enthusiasm for food). California tummy = big and happy; Boston tummy = still big but usually sad
3) unlimited time to practice till I just can't practice no more. I think my family secretly rejoices when I leave the house, so they get some peace and quiet, but I don't care.
4) nature walks--the sunshine of my life, literally.
5) reading my sister's texts and coming up with brilliant ideas of ways for her to ask a very nice boy to Sadies. I didn't really participate in that kind of stuff in high school, so my inner teenager is now unleashed vicariously through my sister.
6) catching up on card-making!