BBC

I've always thought it would be a good idea to read the news. I made some valiant attempts in recent years, subscribing to magazines like The New Yorker and The Economist, bringing them proudly with me onto the airplane or train and tackling each article the way one tackles each successive item on a To-Do list. I never read more than two issues of any news magazine, and in the end, I settled with taking in current events through Yahoo news while checking email, and skimming the newspaper in my search for the daily crossword.
About a month ago, I randomly downloaded a BBC app on my iPod. Since then, I have been reading the news every morning...politics, business, health, even technology. It's interesting and fun, and I was really happy that I've finally gotten around to being a somewhat-informed citizen of the world.
Then, I realized that the only factor that had stood in my way was the convenience factor. Not interest, awareness, time...convenience. Once I found an easy, fast way to do it, everything was solved. Is this how a lot of things are nowadays? Should I feel terribly ashamed about how pathetic this is?

It's good to be home.

***
Me: Mom, I need help. New World called the other day asking me to sub in the middle of October, so I checked my school schedule and think it'll be okay, but if I go, I might have to miss 2 orchestra rehearsals, and I know our orchestra manager won't let me do that...so I'll probably have to call in sick. Then again, I might not be put in that specific orchestra. But if I say yes to New World and end up having to back out, I'll have to reimburse them for the plane ticket. So do you think I should take the chance? I really want to go to Miami...
Mom: Mm. I don't know. SO! I was thinking of making zucchini bread today.

Then I go look for my dad to ask his opinion and find him lying belly up on the couch, snoring with his mouth wide open. It is a strange, surreal day when my little sister is the voice of reason in this household.



V: I saw your car parked, and I was thinking, "Is that Jennifer?" Then I saw one of the wheels on the curb, and I went, "Yep, that's Jennifer."

Dad's friend: So your daughter goes to New England Conservatory?
Dad: Yes. Wait, no. Wait, yes.

*phone rings*
Mom: Hello?
Mei: Jennifer?
Mom: ...no, this is Jennifer's mom. Who is this?
Mei: Oh, hi Mom. This is Julianne.

Instructions on Falling in Love

If you're going to fall in love...

Try to fall in love with an artist. A girl who can stare for hours at one tree, and the way the wind rustles through its leaves, how the green twinkles and winks in the sunlight. A girl who pulls away from a kiss to scribble half-formed bursts of inspiration on the back of her hand, so as not to forget. A girl who listens to Mahler 2 alone in her room with her eyes closed, because it makes her feel bigger than life...who laughs while watching opera, cries while watching the sunrise, and has a continuous soundtrack of songs playing in her head.

Try to fall in love with a pragmatist. A girl with common sense and a good head on her shoulders. A girl who collects coupons, reads the news, and knows when to say no. A girl whose advice you seek and value, because she understands how to stay unbiased, walk in someone else's shoes, and glimpse the bigger picture. A girl who knows the value of money, education, family, and good health.

Try to fall in love with a nerd. A girl who has practically memorized Paradise Lost and reads poetry in her spare time, underlining favorite metaphors in pencil and dog-earing pages to share with family and friends and passersby...anyone willing to listen, basically. A girl who brings her chess board to camp, watches Ted Talks,  finishes a New York Times crossword without so much as a furrowed brow, and bookmarks the Kenken website...who can always figure out how much each person owes at group dinners, plus tax, plus tip.

Try to fall in love with someone who really lives. A girl who will go skydiving, Rocky-Mountain climbing, 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. A girl who has traveled five continents and whose dream is to see the Northern lights. A girl who lets out a huge burst of laughter in the middle of a silent room...who isn't afraid to sing in public, knows how to dance salsa and tango and bhangra, and loves to move her body.

Try to fall in love with someone who does the right thing. A girl who spends forty minutes waiting at the ATM machine, hoping the guy who forgot his debit card in the card slot will come back to claim it. A girl who drives the speed limit, stops at every stop sign, eats her daily fruits and veggies, and doesn't know the difference between marijuana and cocaine. A girl who says, "Sorry, I can't," because it's getting late, almost time to call Grandpa, and she really should study the next morning. A girl who bakes cookies and gives them to her bus drivers, mailman, and gardener; after all, they deserve it, and it may make their day.


If you're going to fall in love...

Fall in love with someone who loves you, someone who moves you. Fall in love with a girl who drives to your house because you were talking on the phone with her while at the wheel, and then the reception died, and then your phone ran out of battery, but she didn't know and thought there was the tiniest of chances that you might have gotten in a car crash. A girl who surprises you with your favorite homemade sandwich on random mornings, and who makes a list of funny things from her day that she wants to share with you...who tells you to take care and be good, who texts you at 1am to remind you, do you have a designated driver to take you home from the bar? Fall in love with a girl who has a dream...she pursues that dream and chases it through thickets and thorns and dark tunnels and seemingly impossible mazes...and watching her makes you jump up and start chasing your own dream. A girl who brings tears to your eyes when you see tears in her eyes. A girl whose smile makes you smile.
A girl who does to you what spring does to cherry blossoms.

If you're going to fall in love...
fall in love with someone you deserve, and someone who deserves you.

From The Kitchen 2

More videos and photos from our glorious kitchen. Don't get too hungry! :)

Chicken pot pie with our own cheddar biscuit topping and egg wash.

Monte Cristo sandwiches, made without a recipe, because we've so surpassed the need for recipes.

Mmmmmm...quiche.

Baked mushrooms stuffed with cheese, bread crumbs, spices etc.

Homemade potato wedges, regular and sweet!

Quiche before it went in the oven. So beautiful...

Politics 2

"One of a conductor's most important jobs is to figure out how much his orchestra needs him or doesn't need him." -David Robertson at today's rehearsal

There is so much truth in that statement. I thought about it all day.

:) 3

This being the first summer that both my sister and I are away for an extended period of time, I think my parents are feeling unexpectedly lonely with only each other for company. Of course they'll never admit it, but the fact is that they definitely call me more often these days, and they have a lot more to tell me when we talk. Usually they don't even call me unless I call them first. From today's phone conversation with my dad:

"Jennifer! I was going to tell you something interesting that happened."
"What?"
"On Thursday, I and Mom went to see a movie at 1:00pm, and then when it was over, we just walked out of the theater and saw that another movie was starting. So then, we went in to see that movie, and we didn't have to buy another ticket! So we saw 2 movies, all for only $7! Pretty good, huh?"
"Oh, so you went movie-hopping?"
"What?"
"Never mind. Well, good for you!"
"Yes, it was quite exciting, and then afterwards we went to eat at a Korean restaurant."
"Mm. So what movies did you see?"
"...I don't know!"

Ha.

Meanwhile, this afternoon I took the bus home and when we arrived at the bus station, I trotted off merrily, forgetting my purse on my seat. I was striding along the streets, listening to my iPod and in my own little world. Only 2-3 blocks later did I realize that the bus driver had parked his vehicle and been running after me all that time to return my purse. Such a nice guy. I'm thinking of getting him a pastry or something from the bakery next time I see him. :)

Think Denk

Currently sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for my roommate to finish practicing so that I can practice, looking gloomily out the window at a raincloud-infested sky, and revisiting pianist Jeremy Denk's ingenious blog. Here are some of my favorite parts:

It is one good definition of music’s purpose: this idealized notion of emotion, music as preserver or sustainer of emotion, as timeless place where a feeling lasts seemingly forever. Music is so excellent at creating states and spells, places where things can sing themselves out to the last drop. The Romantic era is how we WISH emotions were: endlessly prolongable, leading to satisfying climaxes, etc. etc. But the Classical era is (perhaps) how emotions maybe actually are: subject to inconsistency, wavering, shifting, vanishing, elusive. There is a line between this desire for endlessness and this humorlessness.

The din [of the party] was...surface noise, insecurity, the continuous scratchy distraction, the sip of chardonnay, the fake smile, that made it impossible to be back in the lamplit room with piano in fantasyland … door closed, cup of coffee on shelf nearby, just you and the voiceleading, you and two stubbornly meaningful notes which don’t want to give up their meaning to just any old way of playing them.

Often the food at these things is so beautiful, I think of all the loving effort put into it, I feel sorry for it just sitting there. This transitions seamlessly into wondering how delicious it might be. In short, a combination of pity and gluttony makes me eat.

So totally and completely relatable. :)

Corniness is often a joy that has sat out too long, like a congealed skin on top of a soup. Congealed is the word: whatever elements keep the emotion fresh and moving are missing. Joy goes stale so quickly.

I would give you an audio example from our recent performance but an audience member with an excellent ear for the most profoundly fragile musical moments decided to cough through most of this section.

Hahahaha...

And then he [Brahms] folds everything in an embrace. He heads out to the edges of the keyboard, hugging all possible other pitches between widespread hands. For a moment the embrace is major-ish, (D-F#-A-C#), but only for those couple bars, paradise bars that can’t last, then F-sharp becomes F-natural, world of difference, and the beneficent embrace becomes tinged with sadness, like a wave of sadness, and then, the sadness having broken the embrace, we come slowly down the scale, A, G#, F#, E, D, C#, down the sixth (quintessential waltz-interval, summing everything up while bidding it farewell), each note to be played as the one you never want to leave behind. You can’t do better to express in musical notes how a person reluctantly leaves a hug, having not quite accepted departure and distance.

Just to depress myself further, I looked on a classical music forum, with the topic: what’s funny in classical music? And you get a ream of special examples (Haydn this, Malcolm Arnold that, moments here and there) and then eventually hilariously it gets lost in a very unfunny discussion of Nazism in Wagner. Sigh. No no NO, I want to say, stop it, humor is no special example, it’s not a side stream, it’s not vacuum cleaners and celebrity guests and props, it’s the beating heart, it’s one of the main currents, one of the most wonderful. These composers, through flashes of genius, tremendous insight in timing, nuance, all the tricks of comedians, acrobats, thinkers, clowns, poets … they taught us how to laugh in tones: the only challenge is not to forget their living lesson.

From The Kitchen

When we have a free night, S and I pick a recipe, write out a list, and make a trip to the grocery store. Then we come back, turn up some bossa nova (Brazilian jazz is the best cooking music!), and cook our hearts out. Here's a record of what we've made in the last 4 weeks. As S says, we are magnificent. As I say, beast mode.

Homemade macaroni and cheese.

Milk and spices thickening in the pan. Smells so good and looks so beautiful. :)

Just kidding, we didn't make the birthday cheese cake. But we did buy and eat it in about 2 days.

Video Blog #3: Chipmunk

Taken while hiking on the trail outside our apartment. Apparently baby chipmunks make this sound!

Politics

I think all politicians and world leaders should have at least one experience playing in the back of an orchestra section. The reason I love orchestra so much and want to pursue it for a living--besides for the stable income, fixed location, and obviously the music--is how much it teaches us about the psyche of a community. A superb orchestra is like a model of a perfect society, and an orchestra that can't play together is like...well, what America has turned into. Sure, the inner workings of politics are more complex than the inner workings of an orchestra, but the basic principles are the same. You need a) an insightful, respectful, and inspiring leader, b) intuitive and responsible sub-leaders, c) dedicated individuals who are willing to work just as hard as the leaders above them, and d) mutual appreciation among everyone. This week, rotated to the last stand of the orchestra as we battle our way through Shosty 10, I decided that group c, the dedicated individuals, are actually the most important aspect of an orchestra, more so than the sub-leaders and even the inspiring leader. But group c is also perhaps the hardest to come by.
When you sit in the front of an orchestra, there is so much to think about...being there for the conductor, and also ALWAYS being there for your section. One mistake you make can turn into the downfall of the whole orchestra. It's easy to forget about the people in the back, and it's easy to blame them when things go wrong, because you're so aware of your own investment and hard work. "Ugh, someone in the back keeps playing in the rest!" or "People behind me need to stop rushing," are common thoughts running through a concertmaster or principal's head. Sometimes it's true, the ones in the back are not as hard-working or technically competent. What impresses me most in an orchestra is when the players in the back are just as good/committed as the players in the front. And I do know that it's harder to sit in the back than the front...for a myriad of reasons, which I think are self-evident enough to not mention.
Today in rehearsal, our principal was making bow changes, and usually she passes the information to the stand behind her, and the message travels like a game of Telephone, to the back of the section. However, there's a point (at maybe fifth or sixth stand) where the message just doesn't get passed back anymore, and the rest of us have no idea what's going on. My stand partner was getting really annoyed at this, because it's unfair, and later we'll get blamed for not being uniform with the rest of the section.
This reminded me of a random incident that happened a few days ago. I was waiting for the bus, this trumpet-player introduced himself to me, and we started talking. He was really friendly, and when the bus came, we boarded and continued talking. At one point, a girl who was also on the bus requested to be let off at a street corner, and the bus driver told her no, she couldn't get off there, because he was in the left lane, and he couldn't just pull over to the opposite side of the street. Maybe he said it a bit harshly, I don't know, I wasn't paying much attention. But the trumpet-player found it very rude, and he immediately told the bus driver off for being out of line. By this point, everyone else in the bus had left, except me, the guy, and the bus driver. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, as the two guys embarked on a heated, long-winded argument. I won't go into details, but it got kind of nasty, with the bus driver saying some demeaning things, and the guy next to me defending himself hotly. Finally, we got off the bus, and that was that.
It made me think...about confrontation, and whether I'd be able to stand up for someone else (or myself) in a similar situation. Probably not. But I also found myself feeling bad for the bus driver. And then today in orchestra rehearsal, I started relating this occurrence to my thoughts on sitting in the back. I mean, bus drivers aren't on the very bottom of the totem pole when it comes to occupational hierarchy, but they're not high up either. I think these types of people (group c, in a way) can be very sensitive when they feel looked down upon. When I sit in the front of the orchestra, I know I have some authority, so I'm usually not defensive or insecure...I just feel lucky and try my best. When I'm in the back, it's easier to get offended and feel ignored, by something as simple as when the stand above doesn't bother to pass a message back. Similarly, it was probably easy for the bus driver to get riled up by what appeared to be scolding from a student ten years younger than him.
It makes sense that the most respected/effective conductors are the ones who have sat in the back of their orchestra at one point or another, and the best leaders are the ones who know what it's like to be at the bottom. (Dudamel!) That's why I really think the world would be a significantly better place if politicians played in orchestra. It's all related.