No matter the outcome, there are liberties one can always enjoy in the aftermath of some big event. Here are some of my favorite simple but surprisingly significant post-audition liberties.
1) Sleeping in for an extra hour. I tell you, waking up at 8am EVERY day for the past month gives 9am a whole new glorious meaning.
2) Listening to music other than the same 7 symphonies over and over obsessively on my iPod
3) Allowing myself an hour to make and eat meals, instead of 20 minutes to pour cereal into a bowl and wolf it down before returning to the practice room
4) Tuning to an A other than 441. It seems like such a small distinction, but at the risk of sounding super nerdy, I will say that it really feels good to indulge in a 442-A once in a while
4) Tuning to an A other than 441. It seems like such a small distinction, but at the risk of sounding super nerdy, I will say that it really feels good to indulge in a 442-A once in a while
5) Taking a bathroom or email break during practice time without feeling guilty
6) Venturing out into the sunlight and talking with actual people. Practicing--especially excerpts--is a lonely affair and can turn you into a socially awkward person.
What's ironic is that we work super hard to make a decent recording, so that we can work even harder to take the live audition, so that we can work EVEN harder if/when we get a job. When I was a kid, I viewed hard work as an accomplishment that deserved to be rewarded with fun and free time. Now, hard work is a privilege that, if I'm lucky, leads to more hard work...only if I'm unsuccessful will it lead to more free time.
There are 2 ways to view this paradoxical cycle-
Glass-half-empty: an endless chain of hard work, and the only breaks you get are the consequences of failure
Glass-half-full: endless opportunities to improve and become the best person possible, and when you don't do as well as you'd like, you get a moment of reprieve to breathe and rejuvenate
Yeah, I choose the latter. I'm definitely happy now, but I was also happy in the past 2 months, amid the early morning searches for practice rooms, Schubert 2 on repeat, and Corn Flakes dinners...because I was pushing myself to be the best possible...and the next time I am fortunate enough to have an opportunity to work just as hard (if not harder), I will be happy again.
Life is good, if you look through the right lenses.
